Dentists in LA Rejoice: Matthew Stafford Staying with Rams

You read that right folks, LA Rams quarterback and real teeth-haver Matthew Stafford is staying with the exact same team he was on a month ago, and Rams fans, as well as Southern California dentists, are rejoicing.

Stafford, in his age 36 season, put up Stafford-esque numbers, throwing for over 3700 yards with a 65% completion rate, leading the Rams to the Divisional Round of the Playoffs only to get eliminated by D̶r̶e̶w̶ W̶a̶l̶l̶s̶ Jalen Hurts and the eventual Super Bowl Champion Eagles.

Stafford’s return is a key development in the NFL off-season, as the Rams front office can finally breathe knowing they didn’t have to pay Sam Darnold a Juan Soto-type deal to win 9 games and get eliminated by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in the Wild Card Round. Darnold will now be targeted by far more pathetic teams that reside in cities that look like they are still stuck in 2004, like Pittsburgh, Cleveland, and East Rutherford, New Jersey.

Alright that’s enough Football talk. The real winner of Stafford’s reworked contract is presumably his Woodland Hills Dentist that drives a Porsche 911 and has a wife that is the same age as his stepdaughter. For those unaware, Matthew Stafford has some of the wildest veneers in the game, and rival fellow Los Angeles athlete Freddie Freeman for the most outrageous chompers in the whole city.

Bro LOOK at those things.

Those teeth are so white Josh Hamilton started snorting his screen looking at it. Stafford looks like when Quagmire from Family Guy became a real estate agent. Can you imagine Stafford playing for the Steelers and showing up to Primanti Bros with the fakest set of all time surrounded by blue-collar workers with 35% body fat? He could go 17-0 and still probably get beat up and called a slur. Bro was made for LA. In fact, there’s zero doubt in my mind he would have retired if he was traded anywhere else. The ink on the retirement papers would dry and he would go on a Bravo reality show where everyone immediately forgets that he won a Super Bowl and only remembers him for his wife inevitably talking down on him in a cutaway interview. Thank goodness it won’t come down to that though, as Stafford is staying in LA, baby.

Whose House?

Rams House.

I’m Not Super Scared That Roki Sasaki Gave Up a TANK to a Scrub, You Are.

In today’s edition of “Shit that I wish happened with zero cameras around”, recent Japanese-import (I can say that. Matt Vasgersian said that about Shohei Ohtani in MLB The Show. It’s not racist. Shut up.) and pitching phenom for the Los Angeles Dodgers Roki Sasaki had his first live throwing session where he faced hitters since signing with the Dodgers on January 17. Let’s just say it did not go well. Or, actually, it did go well, if you’re a fan of circular objects flying 900 feet and being picked up by a DEI Air Traffic Control hire.

Chicago White Sox Prospect Kyle Teel must’ve been the loser of his Fantasy Football league, or he might just be a sicko, because he had the task of facing Sasaki on Tuesday morning. What happened next can only be assumed as AI, as it was posted on X, meaning that there is a 99% chance it’s fake and we all got Centel’d.

Now, we live in an age where engagement and clicks are everything on social media. It doesn’t matter if what you say is true or even LEGAL, if you say something that’s funny or racist or maybe even both, and it goes viral, you’re happy. That’s what I assumed happened in this video from Aram Leighton, who conveniently decided not to film where the ball landed, and decided that the ball’s flight path was enough to convince people it went over the fence.

This video also looks like it was filmed in 2014 with my iPod Touch, where my Middle School crush would send me pictures on Kik that looked like a Tetris board. Unfortunately there isn’t better quality footage of this so-called “home run”, so there’s no way to know whether this White Sox player who was delivering DoorDash 2 weeks prior actually hit it over the wall.

What in the world?

I bet bro. Surely it’s just a coincidence that the best camera in quite literally the world happened to be filming when “Kyle Teel” Hawk Tuah’d a 100 mph fastball from my glorious Emperor Roki Sasaki. This video is so clear I would have just assumed it was a New Balance commercial. In fact, that’s what I’ll do. Great commercial guys! Nice colors! That’s definitely what the world looks like in real life! That’s so sick.

I see what’s going on. I see through the narratives. I’ve been around this media game for far too long to get really fucking nervous when I see stuff like this. If “Kyle Teel” can do this, I’m not even slightly worried about what someone like Yordan Alvarez could do to Sasaki. It doesn’t even make my blood boil when I see pictures like this:

At the end of the day, it’s just some silly practice at bat on a backfield in February. If you’re worried about Sasaki’s performance this year based off of one engagement-farming video, then you have a weak chin and should get your testosterone levels up. Please. Get them up. That’s why a guy like me isn’t even super worried and isn’t even thinking about Japanese pitchers that didn’t pan out. I’m not even thinking about Kenta Maeda or Yusei Kikuchi.

The Worst Hinge Prompt Answer Ever

Due to many people out there that didn’t find their significant other before the COVID-19 pandemic, including myself, dating is nearly impossible. The trauma bond of the lockdown solidified every couple out there, and it just seems as if there are no single people left. Well, just when it felt like all hope was lost, a new online dating option emerged as the savior for these pathetic and lonely s*ngle people, Hinge.

What separates Hinge from the rest of the online dating apps is the prompts that they offer for your profile. These hundreds of prompts allow people to showcase some personality on their profile, as if showing a picture holding a fish or a picture with your 5 best friends where the person viewing your profile has no idea which one you are wasn’t enough.

These prompts can be quite intimidating at first. You don’t want to be too serious, but you don’t want others to think you’re on the app as a joke. Finding the perfect balance can be tricky, but after hours of writing and deleting prompts, I think I found just the right mix. After testing these prompts on potential female partners, I think I absolutely nailed them, getting tons of positive feedback through the responses:

I think this response is fair. She doesn’t have to read allat. The prompt answer was long and quite frankly something I wrote while I was under the influence of a twist-off bottle of wine from Target.

Okay this one hurt my feelings.

All I’ve heard from women after watching far too many episodes of The Bachelor is that they like guys who are vulnerable and share things about themselves that they might be ashamed of. Now that I’ve shared my inability to tie my shoes the “correct” way, I have been called mean and rude things, like “pussy bitch”.

Despite these less-than-favorable responses to my Hinge prompt answers, I’m still proud of them. I think they show my personality and ability to ramble and type the biggest run-on sentence of all time, as well as my vulnerabilities, showing that I have my flaws and I’m far from perfect.

That leads me to this rant. While I’m by no means the Hinge prompt master, I came across a common prompt answer from women that I can’t even fathom. Think about how many times I have had to see this answer before the idea of writing this blog even popped into my head. I have seen this answer so many times that it seems like someone famous is giving it out or something. This prompt answer has almost become more popular than saying “Two Truths and a Lie: I’m Hot, Funny, and Mentally Stable.”

I can not believe how many women use this prompt and then answer like this. Now, let me start by saying my issue with this answer isn’t the content of the answer. If a girl has traditional values and feels that a man should buy the first round of drinks, that is completely fine and she is entitled to that opinion.

What ISN’T fine is using this prompt if it doesn’t apply to you. The prompt is meant for people to give answers such as “If you compliment my dress” or “If I can pet your cat.” If you would never say the first round is on you, then PICK A DIFFERENT PROMPT! PICK A PROMPT THAT DOESN’T MENTION BUYING THE FIRST ROUND! There are hundreds of prompts to choose from and you chose the prompt that you literally can’t give an answer to.

What in the world is going on? Am I insane? Am I taking this too literal? The entire point of Hinge prompts are for people viewing your profile to get to know something about you, whether that’s a hobby, favorite food, or even a political view. This prompt answer gives absolutely nothing to the viewer, and as a serial Hinge scroller I cannot believe how often I see it.

Man, I’m getting frustrated just typing this. People only get 3 prompts to add to their profile, and I can’t think of a bigger waste of one. This is like if someone who was playing the carnival basketball game took one of the balls and kicked it as far as they could instead of shooting it. This is like someone driving a car with 3 wheels instead of 4 just because they felt like it.

As a non-woman, I would really like to dive into the mindset as to why they choose this specific prompt answer. I have seen so many of them and I quite literally can’t wrap my head around it. They give us (men) absolutely nothing to work with, and make them so angry that they rant about it on their blog.

PATHETIC: They Got Me, a 24-Year-Old Man on a Friday Night, Making Taquitos and Watching the Jake Paul/Mike Tyson Fight

As an unemployed 24-year-old and a holder of .001 Bitcoin living in my mom’s house, this Friday started just like any other one. I woke up at 11:30 am with a hangover that would kill a pilgrim, and I immediately reached for one of the 8 half-drunk water bottles that took up 90% of my nightstand space.

2 questions immediately crossed my mind. What am I going to Door Dash myself for breakfast, and which dive bar am I going to awkwardly stand in with my friends tonight? As I contemplated these crucial questions, I opened Twitter to scroll through the news cycle, followed by the occasional video of a man getting his head decapitated in Brazil.

I was just about to close the app for a 3-minute TikTok break before I came across this video from No Jumper:

WHO just did WHAT to WHO????

I had just assumed the Voodoo Ranger IPAs were still running circles around my brain until I conducted further research (clicked on it) and realized this was a REAL thing.

Apparently Boxing legend and “The Hangover” star Mike Tyson is fighting former YouTuber and unofficial tax-evading Puerto Rico resident Jake Paul, and I am officially ALL IN.

Something about a 58-year-old man getting upset about something besides the long line at the post office fires me up. The same hand that took down the world’s best boxers and an 18-year-old woman in 1992 is now slapping a guy who used to get into internet beef with TikTok dancers. Mike Tyson treated Jake Paul like a child who just learned a bad word from his alcoholic uncle and won’t stop repeating it. I, for one, knew EXACTLY what I was now doing with my Friday Night.

I opened the DraftKings app and unloaded the most irresponsible wager ever placed on Jake Paul to win by KO. A wise man (me after 6 lite beers) once said, “It’s not gambling if it doesn’t change your life” and that was the winning mentality that I needed to have going into this fight. No one slaps Jake “Pookie” Paul and gets away with it. Not on my watch.

I manually filled up my rear passenger tire with air and headed down to Costco. After scanning my mom’s membership card and refusing to make eye contact with the person checking the cards, I headed inside to the CAVE (the frozen food section). I grabbed the biggest box of chicken and cheese taquitos, and couldn’t believe that the current Biden administration was going to allow me to have the night that I was about to have.

As I was heading to check out, my eyes fell upon a beautiful middle-aged lady wearing the nicest hair net passing out samples. Now, not sure if she was beautiful just because she was passing out pizza rolls, but whatever the case is, I grabbed one, did a lap around the sample station, turned my hat backwards, walked back up to her, and grabbed another one.

Feeling like a badass and the king of finesse, I checked out and headed home, turning my music all the way up to mask the rumbling sound my engine was making. Luckily for me, my mom had just gotten home from her long day as a school teacher, so I was able to ask her to make them for me.

That brings me to the present. I am currently sitting on my couch, the smell of these taquitos filling up the house that I live in and don’t pay rent for.

Man, I am so excited.

I know Jake Paul is going to video-game Mike Tyson. I just know it. I’m not even going to bother updating this blog if it doesn’t happen, because it will definitely happen.

The MLB Free Agent That MASHES Lefties That No One Is Talking About

Taking a look at the free agent board, it seems easy to get caught up in the big-name, high-profile players that headline the class. Juan Soto, Corbin Burnes, Alex Bregman, Anthony Santander, and Max Fried are just some of the franchise-altering talent that can be available if their demands are met. 

Getting lost in the shuffle is a player that at first glance would seem like a potential TikTok comment on a “Players I Forgot About” video. However, this player just had the best year of his career in terms of WRC+, and did so in an entirely new role, one he thrived in, and one he will likely cash in because of. 

Who is this player? This player is Randal Grichuk. 

Randal Grichuk Hits Go-Ahead Home Run in 9th Inning vs Padres (mlb.com)

Grichuk, who was notoriously the pick before Mike Trout in the 2009 MLB Draft, just completed his 11th year in the big leagues and in his age 32 season just set his career high with a WRC+ of 139, and did so in his first year as a hitter that faced primarily left-handed pitching. Grichuk has been viewed as a far superior hitter against lefties his whole career, make no mistake, but 2024 was Grichuk’s first season having more plate appearances against left-handers than right-handers, as he fully embraced his platoon role with the Arizona Diamondbacks, sharing time with left-handed hitting Joc Pederson.

Grichuk also enjoyed his highest WAR since his age 26 season in 2018, and did so in only 106 games. 

How elite are Randal Grichuk’s stats against left-handed pitchers? 

via Fangraphs

Grichuk has had an OPS above .900 in each of his previous 3 seasons, and his .913 OPS against lefties in 2024 was higher than that of MVP finalists Mookie Betts and Francisco Lindor against southpaws.  

We saw just how important lineup matchups are for a team, especially come October. The Los Angeles Dodgers had utility man Tommy Edman, who is a far more lethal weapon from the right side, hit cleanup in a lineup that featured 3 former MVPs, as well as right-handed sluggers Teoscar Hernandez and Will Smith. This matchup paid huge dividends for the Dodgers, as Edman went on to win NLCS MVP largely due to his performance in Game 6, where he had a home run and an RBI double in that cleanup spot against left-handed pitcher Sean Manaea. In the same role in Game 2 of the World Series, Edman took southpaw Carlos Rodon deep to cement his stamp as a dangerous lefty killer. 

NLCS MVP Tommy Edman (Katie Chin/Los Angeles Dodgers)

Now, I’m not saying Randal Grichuk is Tommy Edman. Tommy Edman can play both premium positions of shortstop and center field, while Grichuk is limited to the corner outfield positions. But Grichuk’s value when building a potential postseason roster should not go unnoticed. He can provide a much-needed thump from the right side, and can be a dangerous option against the game’s best left-handed pitchers, either in the starting lineup or late off the bench. On top of that, he can be signed to a short-term deal in the 5-10 million dollar range, allowing teams to be flexible with other key pieces that fit positional needs.

Randal Grichuk isn’t a name that will turn a lot of heads, but in terms of constructing a team poised to make a deep postseason run, he definitely should not be overlooked going into 2025.

2025 Fantasy Baseball Preview: The Game Has Changed Forever

The 2024 fantasy baseball season has officially concluded. Did you win your league? Did you outplay your former high school friends in the only thing you guys still have anything in common? You might have even had Shohei Ohtani, Zack Wheeler, and Francisco Lindor on your team at the same time! Did you come out on top?

Trophy? Banner? Ring? Forever bragging rights?

The answer is probably not.

Now why is that? The answer might not be something you want to hear. People typically don’t like things they don’t understand. You might have statistically had the most talented team in your league, but still weren’t the last team standing. This is because if you want to be the one who gets to be referred to as “reigning champ” at the end of the year, you are going to have to adapt, or die.

The game has changed. This is the simplest, yet least implemented strategy that will make you actually care about fantasy baseball as the calendar hits July.

Do Not Draft a Starting Pitcher

What? Don’t draft a starting pitcher? What are you talking about?

(Let me preface this by saying this strategy is mainly for leagues that have unlimited transactions per week, which I thought every league had, until I was in one last year that didn’t.)

Now, with the exception of maybe 2 or 3 guys, there is no reason any starting pitcher should be a mainstay on your roster. Instead, focus your attention on stacking talent on the offensive part of your roster, the players that play every day. This is a mistake that many new, as well as experienced fantasy players make. They see names like Max Fried, Logan Webb, Chris Bassitt, Framber Valdez, Sonny Gray, and Zac Gallen on the draft board and think about how deep their rotation can be with those guys. That sounds great, right? Wrong. The problem with this strategy is that these pitchers are too good to potentially drop, and you used a high draft pick on them, therefore they handcuff your roster.

What do I mean by handcuffing your roster? For example, let’s say it’s Saturday, you’re down 23 points, and Logan Webb has a road start against the Rockies at Coors Field. He’s one of your best pitchers, but this is not an ideal matchup and wish you could have a more favorable one. Across the country, Jose Quintana (who isn’t owned) has a home start against the Washington Nationals on a cold evening at Citi Field.

Do you see what I’m getting at here?

Jose Quintana has the most favorable matchup of the night, but because he doesn’t average 13 points every start, he is overlooked. You would rather have Quintana start, but who are you going to drop? Logan Webb? Marcus Stroman? Max Fried? You simply can’t. You’re stuck. This is the strategy that will give you a championship banner in your 600 sq. ft studio apartment. Don’t be stuck with your above-average starting pitcher when you can have an above average starting pitcher every single night due to a favorable matchup.

Look at the Arizona Diamondbacks in 2024. At DH, they used the platoon of Joc Pederson and Randal Grichuk. Gross right? Those guys are still in the league? Well, take a look at Joc’s stats vs righties, and Grichuk’s stats vs lefties.

Yeah. That’s a combined OPS above .900, which is better than Bryce Harper, Gunnar Henderson, Jose Ramirez, Mookie Betts, and Freddie Freeman.

Platooning guys obviously isn’t something new, but this is something that is rarely implemented into the fantasy game. Essentially “platooning” starting pitchers not only allows you to stack up the best hitters in the game while your competition is drafting (and handcuffing themselves with) Luis Castillo, who will inevitably be starting an important game on the road in Houston, but it allows you to have expendable roster spots to pick up MacKenzie Gore at home vs the Marlins, or Bailey Falter at home vs the Rockies.

Ladies, Tell Us How You REALLY Feel About Short Guys

Women love tall men like Hispanic guys loves saying a certain slur that has nothing to do with them. They just can’t get enough. You might even be allowed to throw the word “addicted” out there and get away with it. Whatever the case is, women are infatuated with the idea of being able to see up a man’s nostril and that same man’s ability to easily grab the Cholula hot sauce bottle from the cupboard above the microwave.

I mean, just take a look at this photo that I was asked to take quite literally 2 fucking weeks ago, where this vertically-acclaimed man had not 1, not 2, but 3 (real) girls attached to him like velcro.

While at one point this picture would have sent me into a spiraling depression filled with binging Dino Nuggets and red wine, I see it now and laugh. Little do these female creatures know that tall, maybe even humongous men are out of style, and it’s actually the “Short King” that’s in.

Fast forward to sometime in the beginning of November, maybe even at the end of October (I have no idea). World-renowned Country music artist Zach Bryan and his Semi-United States-renowned girlfriend Brianna “Chickenfry” have just called their very public relationship quits after *insert time period*.

Ms. Chickenfry has been very vocal since this breakup, telling stories through videos and podcasts about how poorly she was treated in this relationship, and how she found herself constantly changing who she was to fit his needs.

When the internet caught wind of this news, Zach Bryan was immediately ganged up on by thousands of girls of all ages all around the country, and the jokes started to fly left and right, ranging from making fun of his appearance to even making fun of his alcoholism.

Or in Babe Ruthless’s case, both.

While these jokes are both hilarious and true, do you notice what isn’t being mentioned?

His height.

Zach Bryan is notoriously vertically challenged, and while he is listed at a respectable 5 Foot 10 Inches, he is definitely shorter than that at something around 5″5 or 5″6.

Screenshot

Despite this photoshopped tweet that I just made right now, women are taking it easy on him for his height. Why is this you ask? Simple. Girls LIKE short dudes. Did you not see the tweets that I showed earlier? Short guys are in. That’s why no one is mentioning Zach Bryan’s height when attempting to make fun of him.

Right?

Woah woah woah what the fuck?

Where has this been? I was quite literally told (through tweets on the internet) that girls LIKED short guys, and now that Zach Bryan has treated his girlfriend like shit, their true colors are bursting through the screen.

Instead of calling him an insecure asshole, women everywhere have revealed that they NEVER liked short kings, and have used his height as the number 1 reason why he is worthless. While trying to put Zach Bryan down, they instead have put the entire short king community down, and have made us look bad in the process. It’s almost like girls are waiting for a guy to screw up in life just so they have an excuse to call him short.

Well ladies, just know there are plenty of good guys out there that won’t mentally and sometimes physically abuse their partner. These guys will also have the tops of their heads be between 65 and 70 inches off the ground. The moral of the story is that Zach Bryan is a dick because he is a dick, not because he is short. As the very current leader of the short king community, I hope that you guys will change your stance on us.

This Undefeated College Football Team is an UNDERDOG on Saturday! Is Vegas Trying to Tell Us Something?

It’s Week 12 in College Football. The CFB Playoff Picture is relatively wide open, with 8 teams having realistic chances for the 4 playoff spots. Of these 8 teams, 5 are undefeated, leaving 1 team on the outside looking in. That team is the University of Washington Huskies, who, at 10-0, would NOT make the College Football Playoffs if the season ended today. Granted, despite being undefeated, the Huskies have struggled of late. They dominated their early season schedule, stamped with a statement win against rival Oregon. However, since looking like a juggernaut, they have played 4 consecutive tight games, with narrow victories over a 1-5 Arizona State team and a 2-6 Stanford team. Factoring their recent play, it’s possible the selection committee and the Las Vegas odds makers are in cahoots, because as undefeated Washington is set to storm into Corvallis to play 10th ranked Oregon State, their line currently sits at this:

That’s right. 10-0 Washington is *getting* 2.5 points in this spread. Is this surprising? I’m not really sure. Can you really bet on Washington to lose the game when they haven’t done that in 13 months? On the other side, Oregon State has not lost at home, so something will have to give. This spread is certainly polarizing, and there will with zero doubt be huge wagers placed on both sides.

This will arguably be Washington’s biggest test if they want to find themselves in the big dance of the College Football Playoff. If they can pull off a win Saturday Night in Corvallis, it will be nearly impossible for the selection committee to justify leaving them at 5. However, looking ahead at the line and the line movement, it looks like Vegas is telling us that that’ll be more difficult than one might think.

Parker’s Week 11 Picks: Lock this in NOW

NFL Week 11. Less than 24 hours after I proclaimed to the group chat that I was never touching another NFL game ever again, I’m back in. Call it bravery, call it stupidity, call it whatever.

“I’ll just look at the board,” I said to myself. “Let’s just take a peak at the lines, see if anything sticks out. I’m not going to place anything, I’m just curious.”

Or so I thought. Then I saw it. A Bookie Bankruptcy, Sportsbook Sobbing LOCK. OF. THE. WEEK.

I debated withholding it to myself. I debated selling it to the users of the internet. A sports bet this good? For free? I didn’t know if I would be able to live with myself just giving it away.

However, I remembered who I was. A man of the people. After all, we are all on the same team here, and we’re trying to beat the books. Why am I turning against my own people?

As I was scrolling the Sunday slate, my thumbs almost stopped working when I came across this game:

Did your mouth water? My mouth watered.

“Parker what are you picking? Total or side? Give us the picks Parker!”

I will. Relax.

RAMS +1.

It’s simple. Stafford is expected to play, Kupp is all the way back, and the Rams are a different team when those two are cooking together. The Seahawks have been on fire, currently hold a playoff spot, while the Rams have been stinking out loud, having lost 4 of 5, with them scoring 3 whole points in the most recent loss to the Packers. The whole world is down on the Rams, and that is when they’re the most dangerous. If you think the Seahawks will waltz into SoFi and take home an easy win against a newly enhanced Rams team, then I have some news for you.

It’s the Rams, and it’s going to be easy.

There you have it. As a man of the people, I couldn’t watch the people log in to their sportsbook and click on the Seahawks, knowing it’s an automatic loser. I just couldn’t do it.

Official Parker Week 11 Pick: Rams +1

NBA Players Are Getting COOKED After Tweeting That They Don’t Care About Our Bets

EVERYone is tweeting about betting nowadays, whether it’s a lock of the day, a bad beat, or a +359637442 parlay where the sun exploding is the last leg. Well, it seems that the gambling community isn’t the only one who sees these tweets, but rather the very athletes that our precious bank accounts rely on. Direct tweets at athletes who sell a straight bet, player prop, or parlay are becoming more and more common, not only because they are an easy way to blow off some steam *straight* to the source themselves, but because they go insanely viral if the player decides to respond, which usually includes an insult to the losing bettor:

This DM to Eagles RB Kenneth Gainwell went viral after he responded to the heckling bettor AT HALFTIME of the game he fumbled in. While this, along with most of the athlete-to-fan interactions are usually instigated by the fan typing something vulgar and inappropriate to the player, athletes are starting to take notice of the gambling world, and have begun to send out tweets *unprovoked*, which is where our good friends from the Sacramento Kings come in.

Kings Guard Malik Monk decided to strike a nerve with the sports betting community when he let all the trolls and anyone who has ever bet on him or the Kings know exactly how he feels about parlays and betting in general. Despite the instant backlash from the targeted audience, his teammate Kevin Huerter decided to double down by piggybacking off of that statement:

As one could probably guess, the dynamic duo of Malik Monk (14.2 PPG) and Kevin Huerter (12.4 PPG) dissing the whole gambling community sparked an uproar on Twitter (X), causing these gamblers to strike back:

To little surprise, gamblers everywhere didn’t take too kindly to these teammates berating gamblers and their wagers. These wagers are placed with hard earned money and stress, and to have the players that you’re counting on to speak so negatively on you and your “investments” is quite infuriating.

So when Kings bench player Davion Mitchell (6.1 PPG) decided to join the conversation, already on edge NBA bettors had themselves a field day:

Do we as bettors want NBA players to lie and say that they, as millionaires, care about us losing a $10 8-leg parlay? No. But what we DO want is to not be shamed for placing bets by players who would have never even been in the parlay in the first place. These Kings players felt confident in picking on us gamblers, but we fought back, showing them that we will NOT go down without a fight, and they’ll now think twice before messing with us. Kevin Huerter has already deleted his tweet about it, and his teammates will likely soon follow. After this Sacramento Massacre, I think it’ll be awhile before we see another NBA player tweet that he doesn’t care about our parlays.